Should Have: Meditation on Failure and Forgiveness

I failed You today, dear Father, not once but several times!

I asked for opportunities . . .

. . . You gave them, but I failed!

Now that I am alone, I want to just sit and cry!

One girl noticed my bracelet.

“Does it stand for anything?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said, “it tells the story of the wordless book. Have you heard of it?”

“Oh,” she replied, “my mom taught me that when I was little.”

I should have said, “Well, what do you think of Jesus now?”

I should have. But I didn't.

Later, I asked a girl downtown, “What is this festival I overheard you saying you went to this afternoon?”

“It's a beer festival,” she said. “Lots of local vendors with free samples. You can go around and taste all sorts of really good beers. It was great fun!”

I should have said, “Wow, so you tasted some really nice things today. Have you ever tasted Christ? He calls Himself the Fountain of living water. He fills the hungry soul with good things! If you come to Him believing, He says your soul will never hunger or thirst again! Taste Him through His word. You'll find that He is good!”

I should have. But I didn't.

Dear Father, forgive me! Remember my frame, that I am but dust! I wanted to tell them of You, but my wit failed. I was not leaning on You. I was distracted, caught off guard.

Engrave these failures on my heart that they may serve as lessons and memorials! Lessons, for I know even more I need Your strength every moment! Memorial, for I have experienced Your gracious forgiveness yet again.

I stumble, yet You hold my hand, so I am not utterly cast down! You are not finished with me. You have helped me to my feet again!

Father, help me to remember that when I fail, Your Spirit will prevail!

. . . When I should have and didn't, You would and will!

I cannot relive those moments to say what I should have said. But I can pray earnestly for Your Spirit to speak those words into their hearts . . .

. . . those words I should have said but didn't.

And, Father, I hope and pray that someday, on the heavenly streets of gold, I'll look and see these souls to whom I should have but didn't. And I'll say to them there, “I should have told you of Christ on earth, but I didn't. So I poured out my prayers and tears before His throne for you. Now here you are! Where I have failed, His grace prevailed!”

Fully forgiven, fully restored, fully loved, fully assured I stand, up from where I'd fallen, grasping Your hand tighter than ever, ready to take another step!

Amazed . . .

Astounded . . .

. . . You should have let me go . . .

. . . But You didn't!

Meditation on Psalm 36:7-9 (and others)

I walked in sin for many years, 

     enjoying its pleasures, 

     claiming happiness . . .

but I was empty.

Then I tasted the goodness of God. (Psalm 34:8)

He caused me to understand . . .

     how precious is His steadfast love

          how real

          how satisfying

     unlike any love I had ever known.

And so . . .

     I took refuge in the shadow of His wings;

     I feasted on the abundance of His house;

     I drank from the river of His delights.

I am filled.

I am satisfied.

For . . .

     with [my God] is the fountain of life.

     In [His] light do [I] see light. (Psalm 36:9)

     [He] makes known to me the path of life.

     In [His] presence there is fullness of joy.

     At [His] right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

Blessed is the one You choose and bring near,

to dwell in Your courts!

We shall be satisfied with the goodness of Your house,

the holiness of Your temple! 

Psalm 65:4

Exalted

"Be exalted, O YAHWEH, in your strength! 

We will sing and praise your power."

Psalm 21:13

I rejoice to think that there is no one greater or stronger than my God. He needs no one to raise Him up and exalt Him, He is able to lift Himself up by His own strength. 

He does not need me to praise Him in order to be honored and magnified--He is sufficiently honored and magnified in and of Himself. 

Yet He allows me to praise Him, and in fact, desires my praises! What a privilege to do so! 

And what a comfort knowing that when I fall, He who exalts Himself is able to lift me up!

how does God see our trials?

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
Think about that! The worst thing you have ever had to go through, the toughest thing in your life, the situation that you have cried the most tears over. God says that no matter what suffering
you have had to endure what is to come is so amazing that our
trials are so small in contrast they are not even worthy of
being compared.

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a
far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
‘far more exceeding‘, I love those words! and notice the end of
the verse, I think it reveals something key. Our trials fall into perspective when we refuse to look at the things which are
seen (pain, hate, selfishness, impossible circumstances) and instead set are focus on those things we can not see, eternal things, things that will last.
“Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you,…” 1 Peter 4:12-14
How often do I look at trials as some strange thing that has
happen to me, but I shouldn’t! Not only that but God tells
us to rejoice. Rejoice, again because of what is to come.

“My brethren, count it all JOY when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” James 1:2-4Count it all joy. So when you list off your problems the top ofyour list should read Joy. Hard stuff hun? This is something that I think we have to do consciously. We don’t just automatically have joy when things ‘go wrong’ . No, we have to again set our minds to consider it joy. How can we possible do that? Because God has told us the good things our trials will produce. We don’t look at the trial
we look at what wonderful thing we know will come as a result of the
the trial. It’s called faith.

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint…” Romans 5:3-5
GLORY in!

“rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;” Romans 12:12
Are you patient in tribulation? Am I?


“These thing I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Wow, I can remember running into this verse for the ‘first’ time.
It’s a bit of a blow if you have been expecting life to be a breeze
to find that in actuality God has promised us that we will have
tribulation in this world. But praise God He has overcome the
world! Not only that but in Him we can have peace. Do you
have peace in your trial? If not remember it is not because it’s
unavailable. Ask God to help you to have peace in Him and
expect that you will have to let Him change some of the ways
you think in order for that peace to fill you.

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be NO MORE death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4Here is our ultimate comfort and stay. This promise from God that however bad it is right now it won’t always be that way. All ofour sorrow all of our crying, all of our pain will one day pass away

　

Hebrews 6:19

Jesus Christ the Lord!

I AM

. . . Simply beholding His face is enough! . . .
through reading His Word . . .

through prayer. . .

through meditation. . .

and someday . . . face to face in glory . . .

Yahweh is righteous; He loves righteous deeds;

the upright shall behold His face.

(Psalm 11:7)

As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness;

When I awake, I shall be satisfied with Your likeness

[as a bride is satisfied in seeing her dear husband 
beside her when she awakes].

(Psalm 17:15)

. . . Why am I satisfied with Him? . . .

I say to Yahweh,

“You are my Lord; I have no good apart from You.”

You make known to me the path of life;

in Your presence there is fullness of joy;

at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

(Psalm 16:2,11)

“Yahweh is my portion,” says my soul,

“therefore I will hope in Him.”

(Lamentations 3:24)

Yahweh is my chosen portion and my cup;

You hold my lot.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

(Psalm 16:5-6)

. . .What is this inheritance? . . .

This shall be their inheritance:

I AM their inheritance:

and you shall give them no possession in Israel;

I AM their possession.

(Ezekiel 44:28)

This last verse is a statement God made to the Levitical priests.

It holds true for any who are God's children and priests to Him through Christ.

We hold no inheritance nor possession in this world.

Our reward is in Christ alone and in His eternal kingdom.

I capitalized “I AM” to emphasize God's all-sufficiency—

His ability to be all that we need.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places . . .

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses,

according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us,

in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of His will,

according to His purpose . . .

In Him we have obtained an inheritance . . .

In Him you also,

when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him,

were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,

who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it,

to the the praise of His glory.

[May] the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory . . .

give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him,

having the eyes of your hearts enlightened,

that you may know what is the hope to which He has called you,

what are the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints,

and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power toward us who believe.

(Ephesians 1:3, 7-9, 11, 13-14, 17-19a)

~

And we all with unveiled face,

beholding the glory of the Lord,

are being transformed into the same image,

[the image of Christ],

from one degree of glory to another.

(2 Corinthians 3:18)